03 - Little Lies and a Mixed Bag of Training
I see so much pent up anger and rage that could be dissipated with a few mere sentences. It’s interesting that my daughter's preschool introduced her to this skill that many adults don’t have. “Use your words:” When an action hurts you, it’s okay to let it be known, if it’s in an effort to find some resolution. It’s important for kids (and adults) to see this transpire.
I’ve been working on this as a parent in allowing uncomfortable situations to happen to Iris. If someone frustrates her, she should use her words to sort through the situation. When Iris and I are playing together, I sometimes tell her, “I don’t like this game when you play it that way. I’m not having fun.” It’s inspiring to see her switch gears and stop whatever she’s doing. Of course, it also could be that she’s just the greatest human on the planet. Not necessarily likely, but possible.
I guess my point in saying all of this is that we humans can be prideful creatures. We don’t want to look weak by admitting something upset us or, worse, that we may actually have some culpability in the pain of others. Heaven forbid we actually have to confront someone and accept responsibility for our actions!
As tempting as it may be, don’t let pride keep you from peace. Okay, that’s enough rambling for this week. Here’s how the rest of my week went.
Runner’s High
This week was a balance between highs and lows, a trend I'm finding common in many aspects of life. Thursday’s workout, however, definitely stood out as the high. I pushed Iris in the jogger for 6 miles with miles 2-4 being at a higher effort. Iris and I enjoyed the cool weather, and she sang “Jingle Bells” to help motivate me up some of the larger hills. I actually felt good for the entire run and really got to push myself on those harder miles. I wasn’t looking at my watch during the run but definitely felt like I was going faster than my splits indicated. I gave myself a break though because I wasn’t running on a flat trail and I was pushing a toddler. |
| It's exciting to see these times slowly creep downward ("slow" being the operative word) |
I’m working on consistency with my core and PT exercises. I’ve kind of been in a strange area training-wise as I have my half marathon this week and then another 4 weeks until my official 24-week training schedule begins.
Any recommendations on what I might be able to fill that time with?
I thought about potentially throwing in some speed workouts one week and maybe using one or two other weeks to just gain consistent easy mileage to build up my aerobic base.
Bonk of the Week
This week’s low point wasn’t any one run specifically. Rather, it was the fact that I didn’t get to do a long run on Saturday. I was only planning on running 5 or 6 miles but had to cancel it due to some crazy illness issues. I don’t know if I caught a bug or was just fatigued, but I felt like a pile of garbage for almost the entire weekend. After Friday’s hike, my body was shutting down. I was achy, sweaty, had that spacey feeling you get if you stand up too quickly and almost faint.
My goal throughout this process is to finish a 50k but to remain healthy in the process. As much as I wanted to run on Saturday, I felt it more important to listen to my body. I had gotten little sleep throughout most of the week and think that rest did my body better than a run would have. I’d rather be sidelined for a few days than injure my body because I’m overworking myself and have to miss multiple weeks as a result.
Dad is the Best
This week’s awesome dad moment was combined with a workout. Iris and I went on an awesome hike up to Etiwanda Falls on Friday while Katie was at class. A friend of mine told me about this hike a few weeks ago, and we’ve done it a few times now as a family. This was the first trek that Iris and I did by ourselves, and it actually went well! |
| Prepare for a flood of photos |
Iris has been getting stronger and is walking more and more with each hike. The first time we tried to hike Potato Mountain we only went about a mile in total. On this hike, which is roughly 3.5 miles or so with about 900 ft of climbing, Iris walked almost half of it on her own! Most of her hiking was done on the way back, but it’s awesome to see her improve. Carrying her for the majority of the ascent was a great (albeit exhausting workout).
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| Beautiful day for a hike |
Last time we went up to the falls, Iris wasn’t able to play in the water for very long because we didn’t have a change of clothes for her. This time, I was prepared with water shoes and a packed lunch. We spent a good 45 minutes or so splashing around, and Iris made a friend! Maya, almost the exact age as Iris, was eager to see someone else her age, and the two ran around together for the better part of our time up there.
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| Lunch break while actively planning what to accomplish on her next venture into the water |
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| Maya was excited to see a fellow tiny human. "Yes, let us explore together." |
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| The water was freezing, but that won't stop Iris from jumping in |
Last cool parenting moment occurred on a late drive home. It was already past Iris’s bedtime, but she desperately wanted to read a bedtime story. I told her that if she changed and brushed her teeth quickly, I’d read her one quick story, and it worked. She got through it quickly and without any complaining, a definite accomplishment for this particular toddler. It’s cool that she enjoys our reading time and that she really looks forward to it. While part of this may be the fact that it pushes bedtime back a bit further, I’ll still gladly take it.
Dad Lessons
I’ve been thinking a bit about this section. I like the idea of talking about highs and lows in both running and parenting because highs and lows are a reality in life. I’ve had several valleys and peaks throughout my life and have noticed that the valleys always stick out more prominently in my memory. My hope is that acknowledging both throughout this process will provide some perspective for me. That said, I want to steer this section to lessons I’ve learned or reflections I may have had about parenting throughout the week. I’ll definitely mention low moments as they arise but want to focus on what I’ve learned from them.
p; Iris was awesome this week (as she is almost always) and she pretty much rocked the entire time. Looking back to her prime days of the “Terrible Twos,” most minor fits she has these days hardly register in comparison. Despite this, we did have a teachable moment about telling the truth the other day.
Iris is currently exploring the territory of honesty lately and has been, let’s say, generous with the truth. Part of it is her strong wit and ability to exaggerate or recognize the use of irony, but the other part of it is saying things that aren’t true in order to get something she wants. This occurrence was of little consequence in the grand scheme of things but was important in that it was a decisive moment when Iris realized what a lie actually is and that she told one.
One night, we had finished reading out bedtime stories and it was time to finally lay down for bed. I’d already taken Iris to the bathroom but she insisted that she really had to go. She sat down on the toilet and… nothing happened. I asked her, “Do you have to go to the bathroom?”
“No, Dad,” she said. “I’m all done.”
“But you told me you had to go to the bathroom. Did you lie?”
“No, I didn’t lie, Dad.”
I went on: “You said that you really had to use the bathroom, but we’re here and you don’t have to go. So it seems like you may have said something that wasn’t true. Did you just tell me you had to go to the bathroom because you didn’t want to go to bed?”
Before realizing exactly what was happening she said, “Yeah. I didn’t want to go to bed so I said I had to go to the bathroom.”
“Ah, I see. When you say something that isn’t true, that’s called a lie. We don’t want to lie to each other in this family. It’s important for us to be honest with one another. Otherwise we’ll be just like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. We don’t want to be like him, do we?”
I could see a little spark in her when she made the realization. As she began talking, her voice slowly started cracking until it turned into a cry. “Well I was lying to you because you lied to me and I didn’t want to go to bed and I wanted to read a book and I miss grandma and I miss mommy too.”
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| Don't be like this guy |
When the waterworks start it’s amazing how much Iris misses everyone who isn’t present at the moment. She’s hoping someone she loves can come save her, and I totally get this feeling. We all want to avoid confrontation and negative feelings. It’s easier to run away from a problem than it is to accept responsibility and remain in an uncomfortable state of guilt and shame. I saw the event as an opportunity, however, because I think it’s important for Iris to be cognizant of the feelings and to experience them fully.
While I certainly don’t want her to feel miserable and wallow in despair, I do want her to know that actions have consequences. If she can recognize that she feels bad after she lies, my hope is that she will want to tell the truth more often. I have no clue whether this will actually pan out this way or if I’m somehow scarring her for life, but I guess that’s kind of how parenting works, right?
Anyway, I explained to her that I love her and that we all make mistakes. She agreed to do better next time, and we went from there. It also helped that Katie got home in the middle of this process and was able to comfort her in that motherly way that is so effective.
Brew Overview
I thought I’d take this rare opportunity to highlight Coors Light this week because I rarely drink it, but it was given to me by a new friend. I'm a quality over quantity kind of guy and have never really been keen to down bottles of a domestic brew when I could instead enjoy a more potent, better-tasting craft alternative. |
I’d planned to head home after working Tuesday night but was unexpectedly invited out by a friend of mine at work. His wife and daughter were out of town, and he found himself in a unique position to actually get out of the house. As I don’t get to socialize with adults other than Katie very often, I pounced on the opportunity.
We met at his house and he offered me one his last two beers before we got picked up and headed to Friday’s. Though it was a different location, the atmosphere definitely took me back to old happy hour trips to Friday’s I used to take when I first turned 21. We met up with some other coworkers and got to chat about work, school, music, and even running. I did my best not to drone on and on about all the tedious, esoteric information I’ve been learning as of late, but I have a hard time helping myself.
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| Anyone else go here a billion times when they turned 21? |
As a parent, it’s so energizing to have conversations with other adults on occasion. It provides a bit of balance, which is important in every avenue of life.
How was your week? Did you get any training in? Did you have a parenting disaster or a moment when you felt like your parenting skills were inexplicably on point? Let me know. We’ll talk again soon. Er… I’ll write at you again soon, that is.
Be well,
UltraDadRunner